Just me & mine!

So, since January 6th, I have been put in a situation that I did not want or deserve; I can remember crying @ every turn & asking why me? But, here I am almost 12 months in the making & I am proud to say I have answered all those questions & here are the answers I formulated & know to be true: first answer (why me?) because God knows how resilient I am, & he knows that deep down inside I was not happy; because I am a genuine person, who is a social butterfly & my partner @ the time is completely the opposite. I was also very unhappy in NM, away from my family & my friends whom I love very much & although I loved my ex-husband more than myself, I had to get out of that toxic relationship. It was hindering my potential, everyone who has ever met me knows that I am a fun loving person who has an unfiltered mouth, I say what I feel & don't apologize for it; I'm not phony & I always put others first & that is what makes me so unique & those who know this of me, always tell me I need to concentrate on myself!

But in all honesty, I never was a selfish person. For as long as I can remember I always took care of other people. From my nephew, kids, baby daddy, brother, cousin, grandma & lastly ex-husband. I continue to take care of my grown children & I know that I need to stop & try to learn how to focus on myself. Slowly but surely I am learning how to take care of myself. With the help of my son, Shamorr, who is always telling me, "Mom go out, have fun, you have potential", I love this kid- he truly is an old soul.

And of course my friends are always encouraging me to go out & have a good time. I am finally loving the person I am becoming & although my daughters are not use to it (not all, just my oldest), I am starting to enjoy my life. I know I still have allot to accomplish in my life, but the hardest part is developing a plan, & I already have that down. I feel like I can do anything & although I don't have a partner to support me, I have my family & friends & that to me, means the world to me.

And Mark, if you are reading this, I want to thank you for leaving me with nothing; & forcing me to realize that I am a strong person & no matter what happens in my life- I can bounce back from it! I also want to thank you for the 13 years of good memories & all that  you did for my children & me, without you I would not have the confidence I possess! And although you went about it a f*cked up way, I know you're human & you are allowed to make these types of mistakes & I hope your new relationship was worth breaking up our family! And this is how I heal & if you don't like it.... not my problem anymore- Good Luck in NM! (Sue me!)

I also want to take a minute to thank those people  who encourage me to press on, I love you all & I promise to never lose myself to anybody ever again! Holly, Joanna, & Denise, you gals talk to me with honesty & don't bite your tongue when you're counseling me.

Although I have allot of close sistas, these 3 have been very instrumental to getting me where I am today! They make sure I stay busy & focused on what I want & who I am! And this is my truth- love it or leave it, better yet, love me or leave me alone!

Quote: Life is too damn short to worry about people who are irrelevant to my life, so I'm gonna say what I feel (write what I feel, in my case) let it manifest & let it go & wish & pray for better things to come to my life, because I am a good person & deserve to be happy! Me, Delilah Escamilla