Hello bloggers,
It's been a long time since I've submitted an entry, but this one is very personal to me. Hope you get something out of it.
Those who are really close to me know that every winter since 1995, the year my brother passed, I struggle with SAD (seasonal affective disorder) also known as the winter blues. It became more severe in 2013, the year my mother passed. I always try to put my happy face & demeanor on when I'm @ work & when I'm around my family. But this year has been more difficult for me to stay positive. So, I push myself harder to be around positive people & positive situations but that takes a great effort on my part & sometime I don't have the energy.
So what I'm doing now to fight this demon is to always keep busy & try to be positive no matter who I'm with or where I am. When I'm alone, the hardest times, I do whatever it takes to put me in a happy place. To be more specific, I read allot of self help books or inspirational material, I go for hikes if the weather allows, I write, & I force myself to exercise. The best part about being a Lola, is that I can always pick up my grand babies! Which is instant happiness for me!
Another demon I struggle with is loneliness, loneliness you say, yes loneliness. Although I have five grown kids & a handful of close friends, they all have their own lives to live. Besides my mood & the way I feel is my responsibility & only I can manage it. And that's the first step to handling your emotions, acknowledging them. I have learned to acknowledge how I feel first & then figure out what will help me change my mood. For me, that's a list of different things. But my favorite is music in combination with moving, and reminding myself about all the people & situations I am blessed with daily. For example: having my own family & friends, all the happy memories we created & continue to create, my health, my accomplishments, & my ferocious work ethic! The fact that I have 2 jobs that I really enjoy doing & be around people that I genuinely love, my coworkers which I lovingly call my work family. Honestly, it's a privilege to work around the people who appreciate you & your aura & they definitely remind me who I am & for that I love them ❤️.
My third, & last demon, is my disappointments. They include where I am personally, financially & professionally. I am currently having discussions with people I consider to be very close to me & deciding how can I change these situations. And I'd rather share these as they happen. But to fight this demon I've learned how to take time & look back to see how far I have come. I do this by pulling up images/pictures & reminding how far my journey has bought me. There use to be a time when I couldn't afford my own car or home or allot of things I currently possess. But, most importantly I have friendships that have lasted a long time & have passed the test of time & continue to be a big part of my healing & my progress. Those people include my family (yes you can write them off) & my close friends whom I call my family (they know who they are).
My life has definitely been a very difficult journey, but it has also been a journey full of positive lessons, & for all of that I remain eternally grateful! Every bump in my life has bought me to where I am & I'm loving & embracing it all!
