Basic vs. Progressive

 Good Morning Bloggers,

So it's official, another year has passed and yesterday my mom celebrated her 73rd birthday in heaven with her mom, sisters, daughter, son, and now her baby daddy. It's weird, just a few weeks ago I felt immensely lonely and even expressed the different levels of loss and death. And although sometimes I do feel incedibly lonely, I now know (and have always known) that I have my tribe. That tribe consists of people whom I love and love me the way I need to be loved. Although it's not an intimate love, which I desire, it's a genuine love that is palpable and available to me in my darkest hours. It's expressed through words, actions and emotions that are recognized between those who I really care for and those who genuinely care for me. And as I close out this year with the first year of grad school under my belt with straight A"s and a 4.0 GPA, I give thanks to all of those who had faith in my potential and always reminded me of who I am and what I am capable of. A big shout out to all my kids, who are now amazing productive adults within society, and my close and dear friends who are always in my ear, in my heart and on my mind constantly cheering me on! 

As for the title for this entry, it has come to my attention that I have never been basic and seek progressive individuals to inspire my potential to go anywhere I want to go. And although I have found myself in some stagnant situations, I always mangage to free myself of those entanglements and move forward with learned lessons and added self love. I'm actually falling completely in love with myself and I have managed to turn my flaws into assets. My self awareness and worth has multiplied over time and the more I spend time by myself I learn that I can walk away from situations that don't benefit my well being: physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. For that matter, anything that's not beneficial to my soul or my energy is being eliminated, but that elimination is a process and through that process I am learning very valuable life lessons.

Now keep in mind that basic and progressive are very subjective, what's basic/ progressive to me might not fit your definition of basic/progressive. With that being said, basic for me is someone who is ok with the current status of their life and who doesn't challenge themself to a better version of who they can be. Progressive, to me, is self-evolution, (what I like to call it) with that self-evolution comes the courage to not only face their fears but to overcome them and aspire to bigger and better things within their life. Those acheivements can come mentally, emotionally, intellectually, financially and of course soulfully. This type of growth allows a person to break generational curses and open up your lineage for the best possible timeline within your generation! Having enough courage to expose yourself to new and challenging situations/things enhances life, and I always like to say: don't knock it til you try it! Being confident and courageous enough to exposure and exploration of course with safety in mind, opens up your life to new experiences and adventures. I guess that's what makes me unique, @ my age I'm still an adrenaline junky and still aspire to be the best version of myself!

I've accomplished so much in my 50 years of living and anticipate to achieve so much more in my next 50 years (would be nice to have a partner, to share)!

The Lack Of!

 Good morning bloggers,

So another semester down, total of 8 courses, 1 year done and 3 more to go, 24 credits bagged with a 3.8 GPA-and 40 more to conquer! So, needless to say I have been slaying grad school. But, the dating scene has been disappointing! As of September 2021, I have been divorced for 10 years, I didn't even realize it until I was having a conversation with my therapist during a recent session. I went over how it took me almost 3 years to get over a 13 year realtionship and the mistrust my ex-husband burdened me with, which was an upgrade from the damage that my babies' daddy had already scarred me with! And although he had promised me that he would NEVER hurt me/cause me pain, because he knew that I had suffered in my past. Instead, we built together for 13 years, traveled, supported and loved each other until he found someone younger. Ok, rant over, he's over, we're over; and as I am well over that situation. Many lessons learned, childhood trauma and adult manifestations realized, healing continues and evolution and self love begin within me.

So after getting over my marriage, I became involved in an inappropriate relationship with someone, who I thought, was my soul mate. And even though we knew of each others flaws and complicated situations we became involved in an inappropriate sexual and emotional relationship. Why innapropriate you ask, because of his role in my life and where he was in his. And although the romance was short lived, due to his untimely death, he taught me to look within myself for strength, wisdom and love. Unfortunately/fortunately I fell into a situationship that taught me other valuable lessons. Those include, but are not limited to, the following: assess if the one you're interested in has worked through their childhood trauma (YES! we all have childhood trauma! there's just different levels to it), ascertain emotional intelligence/ignorance (YES! most men don't know what EI even is, let alone how to express it!), inquire about his love language/s (YES, men ARE capable of having more than one love language, we already established that women are well versed in multi-lingual LL), discuss work ehtic and goals long and short term (why? because most men are comfortable and lack upwards mobility), ask his views on family and his personal family dynamics (because we all have very different family dynamics and it manifests into the relationship), and last, but certainly not least, are the levels of sexual compatibility between the both of you similar (because I have yet to meet a man that mirrors my sexual drive &/or kink level)!

So, you ask why the title: the lack of, because after being on the dating scene for almost 7 years there is a defecit of men that lack substance! I have tried it all, dating apps, matchmakers (expensive AF! for no damn reason), and yes, even friendly set-ups. What do they lack you ask, hm let me commence this long ass list: 

1. honesty- the capability to be honest with oneself and share and continue that honesty with you

2. loyalty- the ability to maintain exclusivity

3. consistency- say what you mean and mean what you say!

4. couth- possesing culture, well mannered, refined

5. chivalry- having courtesy, generosity, and valor

6. originality- be yourself!

7. courage- not being afraid to be yourself and sharing your vulnerabilities

8. vulnerability- willingness to accept the emotional risks that comes from being open and accepting to love and be loved

9. sensitivity- the quality of being sensitive (being mindful of your own feelings and the feelings of others)

10. affection- displays of physical/sexual liking/love/fondness

11. intelligence-the ability to acqquire and apply knowledge

12. sensibility- the ability to appreciate and respond to complex emotional/aesthetic influences

Now keep in mind that this is my personal list, and as I mentioned before- it's not limited to the listed traits. And yes this entry follows my rant that I posted on FB. But, let's be clear, I still believe in love and have faith that my soulmate/twin flame exists!