Defamation of character

 Good Morning Bloggers,

These past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind since I came back from NM! From solidifying my concerns about my twin grandsons, then coming home to being falsely accused of things that I never did or said (by my only living Aunt), to being slandered by my maternal sister! Not sure why these demons are attacking my character but your words fall on deaf ears, because my actions scream, and have always, louder than the hot air coming from your mouths. The more hate that comes from your soul, the further I walk away from it all, I will not allow myself to get caught up in your web of lies, I will not feed into your negative energy, and I will no longer foster the toxicity. I've done right by the both of you and I'm not sure why I have become your target, but I refuse to take any of it without action.

And because I am the bigger and better person, and this has caused me emotional pain to the point it manifested physically; I choose to walk away. Your unkind words and your negative energy has cost you a whole niece, and sister. I will pray for the both of you and hope that y'all seek treatment for your personality disorders, may you save whatever good you both have left in those dark souls. May this post shed some light to your darkness, I'm praying for you both. Thank the for showing me who y'all really are, y'all mistook my kindness for weakness, and now that I know what the feelings genuinely are, I walk away, as far away as I can. 

And what I have learned throughout my journey is that people hate and lie on you because of what you represent, they're jealous of your energy and fear your greatness! And that my dear has nothing to do with me! My Aura is positive, my energy is light and goodness, so take your shade to where it belongs the dark side. Diligently praying for both of your souls!

Messages from heaven

 Good evening bloggers,

It is with heavy heart that I write this entry! I have been to NM to visit my grands & spend some quality time with them. I noticed that they were struggling with their speech and at three years old they really should be potty trained but they weren’t, I decided to ask my son if we could take them to their pediatrician who is my best friend. It was at that time that we found out that they have developmental speech delays and one of them met the markers for autism. So that is just one of the things that I am very concerned about, the other being my sister and my aunt lying about me. being hurt by someone who you took care of expecting nothing in return, was very hurtful. I have been struggling with this decision, but have decided to choose myself and take care of myself. So moving forward I will focus on myself and do just that, take care of myself. Needless to say I am cutting off toxic people from my life whether they be blood related or not.

Fast forward to Saturday which was the 26th death anniversary of my brother, whom I love very dearly and miss very much. As I visited my mothers grave today and I saw at least seven deer just prancing around, it brought tears to my eyes because it was that same day that I was told that my father passed. Anyone who is very close to me knows that I am a very spiritual human being and there has been some situations that I have experienced that has solidified this belief of mine. Needless to say I feel that those dear represented family members who are already dead who are dancing because now they are together, so I picture my mom my dad my brother my aunt my grandmother and my grandfather and my cousin all dancing together. I then visited my brothers grave, where I saw this one deer looking  confused but after observing this deer for over 20 minutes it became more confident and started walking then prancing almost like it was OK being on its own. If that’s not a sign I don’t know what it is; so that’s why I chose the title, messages from heaven. When God speaks to you, you listen whether it be a warning or a sign that’s solidifying a thought, you can’t ignore the signs, you have to listen and be grateful that you  have that gift. So I share with you and leave you with people that I love and care for genuinely and deeply.

Strength

 Good evening bloggers,

School, work & family have consumed most of my time. My sister has been living with me since January & it has been very difficult for me to care for her because she reminds me so much of my mom. Between writing papers, dialysis, work, doc appointments and life in general! I have not had time to write an entry in my blog. Although, I still have been able to have a little balance in my life, I have managed to fit in swimming and hikes to my already hectic schedule. As for the title of this entry, my strength has multiplied! I have managed to maintain an A average in school and that has definitely fed into my confidence, also being able to multi- task everyday & manage my sister’s disease. She is a constant reminder of how important it is for me to take care of myself & manage my health. I have become very cognizant of how crucial it is for me to maintain my physical and mental health, hence surrounding myself with like-minded people who bring me zen!

It’s never too late to practice rituals that increase endorphins and increase our serotonin levels. People who know me well, know that- that has been key to keeping my mental health stable! I love surrounding myself with people I love & love me back! So with that being said, I close this entry with snapshots of those loved ones.