Been recovering from a bruised ego, but I am slowly regaining more strength & wisdom! I had recently reconnected with an old flame & was enjoying a very short lived romance. I have to say that it did feel good while it lasted & I learned what I want from a relationship. This time around I set the ground rules & was verbally open as to what I wanted out of that particular relationship. It seemed to start off well, but the honesty between us was not mutual. So, I removed myself from the situation before it became toxic! I have to admit I became very comfortable quickly because it was somebody from my past who had known me before I had my kids & knew how crazy I can be, but the history & familiarity between us, was not enough for him to be completely honest with me. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason & this happened to show me that I am still capable of loving somebody & able to be loved.
I was having a conversation with some close friends regarding healthy relationships, & @ my age, I pretty much know what I want for myself in a relationship. Maybe it's too much, but @ my age I refuse to lower my standards. Why should I? I work too hard & I play hard. I know my male colleagues always tell me that I have too much testosterone & can be very masculine when it comes to certain things, but I've been doing all kinds of things for myself for a while. I don't depend or wait for others to do for me. I'm pretty much self sufficient, if that's not a good thing, I don't know what to tell you?
Most men find me intimidating, but, I can't change who I am. It's gotten me this far! I'm not a damsel in distress, nor do I need a man to complete me. I had one of my close male friends tell me I'm too aggressive when it comes to certain things, my reply: if you can't deal with my aggression you're too soft for me! I'm not here to stroke nobody's ego! I've done very well for myself & I have no desire to change who I am to appease anybody! Yes, my character can be strong, but I do have a soft side. Only those who are really close to me are privileged to see that side of me. Everybody knows I'm genuine & honest & will give you the shirt off my back. But don't take advantage of me, if you do, you will be demoted & cut off!
Maybe I will continue to be single, I still have allot to accomplish. My goals are to finish grad school & eventually buy a house. If God sends me somebody to compliment me, then so be it. Until then I will continue my journey & enjoy those who genuinely care for me & are completely loyal & honest with me. I won't loose myself to anything or anybody, life is too short!
P.S. Currently having technical difficulties, will post pics @ a later time to go with this post
as promised I've added some of my favorite pics:
