Progressive Sexual Values

 Good morning beloved,

I know it has been a long ass time! But I promise you I have been busy with my doctorate program, work, & trying to have some sort of a social life. I just completed my first semester as a doctoral student, and have been traveling to Philly frequently for school. 

I had met a young gentleman on FBD a little over a year ago & finally got to meet him in person. I felt like we had met in another lifetime, allot of his elements resonated with me. Unfortunately, this feeling was not mutual. Although we had excellent conversation & exchange of energy, I believe this scared him. I tried to be present & consistent for him, but he ghosted me….? I can never understand why men lack the ability to communicate or express themselves. 

Any how, my trips to Philly have been very fulfilling minus the previously mentioned situation. I was able to attend my first ever sex ed conference & learned new terminology regarding ethical polyamory, BDSM, kinks, consent, & even sexuality theories in older adults (which I am very close to)! I must say that I am loving my new profession & believe that I will be just fine! I still will be able to support people through there healing journey, it will just be in a different aspect of their lives. 

We had to write a 10-15 page paper for one of my classes this semester to discuss our healing journey & why we chose human sexuality as a profession. For me it has always been multi-factorial. As a child I was sexually molested & as a teenager I was raped by a random person, but when I was betrayed by my ex-husband I started doubting myself. These are just some of the reasons I want to become a sex therapist. When I was studying for my masters in SW I became more interested in the dynamics between individuals, this became another reason why I want to become a sex therapist. 

As I navigate my love-life as an older adult I am increasingly becoming more aware of my desire to be in a relationship. But not just any relationship, I desire & require an intentional relationship where we both reciprocate intentional energy, loving affection, intense vibes between us. I also require someone who is going to match my sexual energy & have a level of passion similar to mine. 

Which is why I chose the title for this entry. My progressive sexual values include, but are not limited to, transparency, authenticity, consistency, intentionality, honesty, vulnerability, & yes kinky fuckery. Which is why I have been single for so long! I can’t seem to find a man who possesses all these qualities! I have always believed that if I exist, so does my equal!I have even contemplated polyamory, but because I am Latina, I refuse to share my person!

I am done with the dating apps & blind dates & I will try to be patient as I work on myself to become the best version of myself, until then I am asking or positive vibes- thank you 🙏🏾 for following & reading!

I leave you with some favorite memories:

Soap Box Bit

Good evening bloggers,

Still celebrating my 53rd birthday & all the FB (fuckboys) have the audacity to resurface & ask why I am still single?

Um hm, as I pull out my soap box & prepare to educate some mothaf*ckas:

First & foremost, I am enjoying this phase of my life, this version of me intentionally chooses to be single!

Why? Because none of you mofos fit the criteria to be a part of my life as it is now!

You see, I have been self-sufficient for several years (& even before my ex-husband) I have been able to take care of my family & myself! And although I learned to become a life partner with my ex-husband, I also learned the depth of betrayal & deception. So, yes I have trust issues!  And after loosing every single person in my immediate family, siblings & parents, I no longer have to take care of anybody physically! I still help my grown children, because I have been blessed & love to bless those I love. I’m family oriented & they will always come first!

I had allowed myself to be vulnerable & was able to trust again. Unfortunately, this person betrayed me & I put my guard up again. 

I have been approached by several men that seek a relationship with them, but I have chosen to be by myself. Why? Because I require to be engaged in all aspects of my life!

You see, I am an intellect, & as such I need to be engaged in intelligent conversations.

I am also an empath, so I need to be engaged in positive energy, vibes, & philosophical discussions.

I also love to go on adventures, so I need to explore new places, cultures, & histories.

I love nature, so be prepared to chase waterfalls, hiking trails, & participate in extraordinary activities!

I’m currently writing my first book & my imagination is on a level that is very different & creative, due to my life experiences (& I am in no way, shape, or form a boring person)! 

Due to the fact that I took care of my siblings & parents before they passed, I have become more conscientious about my health, so my partner must be fit & be willing to join me in my fitness journey

I also prefer colored men, why? Because I seem to have allot in common with them when it comes to struggles & overcoming them, & self-evolution.

Other requirements include but are not limited to, self-maintenance (not vain) but take pride in your appearance (look good, smell good, body & breath). Be intentional & considerate, also be honest & genuine! I require affection, so please feel free to practice PDOA (public displays of affection) (if you know what the acronym stood for, congratulations, you’re on my level of emotional intelligence). I am also a foodie & love to cook, so you must have an open mind to cooking & exploring different types of cuisine. Traveling is a must, I have been to different countries & states, but still have a long bucket list of places I want to explore! I also love to write, photography, & spending some alone time (so give me my own space). I don’t believe in marriage but if you can prove your point, I am willing to listen & maybe change my mind. We have to be able to grow together & compliment each other, where I lack, you compensate, where you lack, I will compensate. Our growth will be in the areas of intelligence, understanding, knowledge, soulfully, & yes, financially! 

So now you see why I choose to be single, I practice & do all the things mentioned above by myself & or with loved ones. I take myself out on dates, travel solo, & definitely spoil myself by doing things I enjoy!

I currently attend grad school to obtain my doctorate in human sexuality, to become a sex therapist & want to become an author & an expert on the matters of love & intimacy! Until I meet someone that compliments every aspect of my life, I will continue to be single!

As you can see, I am just fine by myself! Until I meet the person that not only can handle who I am, but also compliment & add to my already fulfilling life, I will remain content doing what I do!