It has been a little over 2 months since I have blogged & although writing is my true passion, & I've been told it's my gift: I have to follow my heart & share my passion & gift with you.
So, let me just inform you that this past holiday season was one of the hardest & emotionally charged seasons I had endured! I was borderline depressed, I was hurting, I was re-evaluating my life's situation, I was crying for change! It took every atom in my body & mind to overcome these feelings, but, I managed to pull myself out of my funk & paint my town house, redecorate, fill my home with positive mantras & learned how to meditate deeply & take matters into my own hands. I have learned that I am the only one that knows what makes me happy. I use to think I had to be with somebody in order to be happy, but now looking back, it has been me that has been making myself happy! I now know that only I can keep myself happy! I also have learned to let go of negative people & negative situations, & that was hard for me to do, because I had become comfortable with those people & those situations.
I always thought that I was flexible & I could adapt to any change life had thrown my way, but my flaws always took me down a negative path! It wasn't until somebody disrespected me unnecessarily that I had my epiphany. & I know everything happens for a reason & this needed to happen to me in order for me to make changes in my life. I want to thank God for giving me signs & allowing me to make mistakes without them permanently damaging me emotionally or otherwise. I also want to take a minute to thank my loved ones for being patient with me & always being here for me & telling me my worth & believing that I would eventually make the right decision & move away from my negativity.
I could tell you all my flaws & negativity, but that's a whole new blog!
Anyway, let me share with you the secret to my arsenal. I began my transformation by exercising more, practicing deep meditation, spending more time with my children (including my dog), and being around people who appreciate me for who I am, my true friends. Every morning/ night I start by thanking God for what I have (home, car, jobs, & the ability to hold my own & then some, by myself), I then proceeded to mentally remind myself that producing positive karma will bring me positive karma. Being nice & smiling generally makes other people around you more comfortable & eventually nicer. I always have a tendency of being silly & sometimes inappropriate, but usually it's with people that I consider my friends/family, & they seem to appreciate that about me. I have started to keep my distance from negative people & situations, I began by closing doors to negative situations & stopped entertaining negative people! I am a giving person, but I've learned to stop giving to people who are not worthy of my gifts (energy, time or thought). Talking myself out of negative situations has been instrumental, I practice that frequently.
Reinventing myself professionally & socially has proven to be successful. I've learned that working on your inner beauty has a way of making you physically beautiful. & bad situations are meant to teach you valuable life lessons & for every negative situation I've endured, I found a positive lesson I learned. How I approach situations has defined my character, forgive, be grateful & graceful. Love yourself before you allow yourself to love someone else, know yourself worth & how you expect to be treated & never settle for less! (the last sentence is for my children & some of my sistas that are going through some shit!) Being patient with myself has been challenging, but it has also taught me patience & forgiveness. I have done somethings I'm not proud of & tried to make excuses for my behavior, but I now know that I had to go through it in order to overcome it! Needless to say, I've learned some very valuable lessons.
So now @ almost 43 years old, I am finally comfortable in my own skin & am ready to tackle my success, professionally & socially.
P.S. Thank you so much for following & allowing me to share myself with you.
Some fond memories from 2013
Mira, Shami & me enjoying an Indian buffet
my cousin Robert & me enjoying a nature walk & a very deep conversation
Denise & me on our way to Miami
Me feeling fabulous on our cruise
Shami, Jared & me being silly @ a 3D movie
Lexie, Sharon, Lillibeth, Denise & me @ CSICU holiday party
Robert & me enjoying NYC holiday scenery
Dasha, Sade, Denise & me @ my NYE dinner
Me about to hit the town & paint it red
Frannie's last day as a bedside RN
my lil mami & me- miss her immensely
Denise & me @ a hip hop concert @ RCMH
Denise, Rob & me enjoying some of Little Italy's finest
Sasha, Sade, Shamorr & Shadasha, missing Shuan tremendously
Me doing what I do best: working!
Quotes for this morning include, but are not limited to:
my legacy:
Celebrating 105 entries on my blog: you go girl, keep going until the wheels fall off, then run!
