I am woman hear me roar

Good evening bloggers,

In honor of National Woman’s Day I blog to you from home. After being hit by a nor’easter that dumped more than a foot of snow, I had to go out there & dig myself out of it! I was the only woman out there shoveling, all my male neighbors were impressed that I was able to climb on my car & used my arms & legs to clean off my car. Not only did I shovel myself out I had the nerve to clean/shovel a second parking spot so I can move my car over. Then I pulled out my 6 foot steel ladder to tie up some cable lines that had collapsed on my car & my neighbors car. All my neighbors were cheering me on & Anne, my next door neighbor, tells me that I’m fearless & she can see how men find me intimidating.
As we continued to converse & she asked me where my son was, unfortunately he got stuck @ work & was unable to get home. He’s the only one left @ home with me, & he usually shovels Anne’s & my car out. I explained to her that I’m not the one to wait on anyone, if I need something done, I just do it myself; I waits for no one! She replies by saying I admire you, I’ve been your neighbor for 6 years & I have watched you go to work, play with your grandchildren, grill meals for your family & raise your kids successfully, & all by yourself. My response, I have no choice, God chooses his strongest soldiers for the biggest wars. And I continue to be the warrior she needs me to be!
I will continue to be “too passionate”, “too strong”, “too aggressive “, & whatever these men call me because they’re too weak to be with me!
So, yes I am an almighty woman, hear my grand roar!
I’m not a victim, I’m a victor!
I turn tragedy into triumph!
I will continue to be me!
Crazy, loud, intelligent, loving, & stronger than ever!

Facing my fears

Good afternoon bloggers,
I’m blogging ya’ll from the beautiful island of Aruba, I have chosen to travel whenever I can. And after working 2 full time jobs for 3 months, this is a well deserved vacation! I always receive stares when I travel solo, but I embrace my peace of mind & the more I explore & venture on my own, I’ve become more confident & courageous. Which, I never knew I possessed! Traveling by myself also humbles me & reminds me how blessed I am & how much I’ve grown mentally, emotionally & intellectually. I have learned that as human beings we can endure an insurmountable amount of pain & still be able to persevere against all odds. It's our destiny to push ourselves to no limit. A comfort zone was never an option for me! Loved ones passed or left & I had to figure things out on my own. I do have a handful of close friends that I have learned to value. Their opinions & the advice they give has been sound & behooves me. But, ultimately it’s up to me to choose, to be what I want & do what I want.
The more I accomplish things on my own, the more I feel like it’s highly unlikely to meet a partner on my level in every aspect of life that I value. For example, financially, intellectually, emotionally, romantically, & definitely sexually! But this feeling of disappointment is not going to stop me from doing me! I will continue to work hard, play hard, love hard & loose all the fear my body harbors!
The more I meet people & travel, I hear that there exist a counterpart to everyone! So, I will keep my faith in that saying, which states: there someone for everyone! Until then, I’m going to continue loving me, my family & my friends!

Death

 Good morning Bloggers,
 I know it’s been a while, but I’ve been working 2 full time jobs with scarce days off. This morning I went to a colleague’s wife’s funeral and it reminded me how the impact of a loved ones lost can cripple you! Although as a healthcare professional I am used to death, I have learned that it affects people on a wide spectrum. Professionally and personally, unfortunately, I know death all too well! And although I know that death is a natural part of life, whether it comes through natural causes, chronic disease, or fatally, death can be an overwhelming & devastating feeling.
As I sat and listened to the reverend’s sermon I realize that we impact each other’s life at different levels. He spoke about sociatal & personal contributions & accomplishments.  He reminded us that our bodies are only vessels and that our souls are defined by how we treat each other as human beings. He also spoke about how spirituality & how servicing humanity gains us love & respect, but most importantly he spoke about the memories that we create with each other.
 When he said this I remembered all the memories that I created with my mom & my brother, & it evoked the feeling of loneliness & the void that their deaths caused in my life.
 As I lost myself in sorrow the reverend reminded us that even though we feel the lost physically our loved ones remain with us spiritually!  That statement gave me some solace, I felt this overwhelming feeling that my mom & my brother were with me & have never left my side.
As I hugged my friend & colleague, I reminded him that his wife went to a better place & she is no longer physically suffering with her illness.
Cherish those that you hold close to you, love them and enjoy them while they’re alive & create awesome memories with them.

Beautifully Broken

Good morning bloggers,

My journey as a single mother of 5 grown ass kids, Lola to 2 little grands, younger sister, auntie to my 3 nephews, nurse & supervisor  @ my 2 facilities & a good friend to all my close friends: This journey has had its ups & downs, curves, & forks, but I continue to become a better version of myself. I have learned so much within my profession & as a mother, that with every lesson it adds to the library of my brain.
When I tell others my journey they always are amazed @ my resilience. I've been broken but I decided a long time ago to pick up my pieces & glue them back together with valuable lessons & good practice. And when I practice goodness or laughter, it returns to me in blessings. I have been able to travel & meet some awesome people, & with each encounter I learn something new.
This goes to those who have betrayed me: I forgive you, & thank you for teaching me very valuable lessons & allowing my soul to move forward with a plethora of experiences wether they be good or bad, they have molded me to the person I am today. There are days I wish we could talk & I can tell you all my accomplishments & travels. All what I've seen & experienced & I owe it all to the heartbreak you caused me. I've taken my broken pieces & cemented them with gold! I value every lesson I have learned & move forward positively, cautiously & much wiser than before.
I've learned how to appreciate genuine & consistent people. I've also learned how to focus & appreciate what I have & not worry or emphasize on what I don't. That has taught me to have faith in God's process, she does things on her time, & that has taught me patience.
This journey of mine has forced me to become the best version of myself thus far & it continues to teach me very valuable life lessons, & for that I am eternally grateful & beautifully broken!

Happiness

Good morning bloggers,

I've been under allot of stress lately, but I always manage to find my inner happiness & peace. The most valuable lesson I've learned in my 46 years of living is to remain calm & choose to react positively to any situation. Always do the right thing even when nobody is looking, it's called integrity! Talk to God even when things are good in your life. When you can't control what is happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what's happening. Never underestimate the healing power of listening to your favorite music on full blast while jumping around like an idiot! Find something that brings you joy and satisfaction & practice it religiously. It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply, but knowing how to react outwardly despite your internal feelings will allow you to be successful. Difficult paths definitely lead to beautiful destinations. Life is better when you laugh allot, cry a little, and are thankful for everything you have. Remember that you are the architect of your own life,  you're totally capable of designing and living a masterpiece of your choosing. Stay focused on what you want to achieve and you will find ways to solve your difficulties and break through barriers.
Educate yourself when a question about a certain topic presents itself. Watch movies and documentaries to enhance your knowledge. When something sparks your interest, read about it, study, expose yourself to new things and stimulate your brain and senses. It is the joy/happiness within you that creates a magnificent life on the outside. It doesn't matter where you are, what you're doing, who you're with, or what is happening, it's up to you to make it joyous. Don't allow others to affect your mood, I'm struggling with that one because I love hard and those loved ones are the ones bringing drama to me!
Happiness is not something out that you bring in, it's something within that you bring out! Surround yourself with people with like minds that are positive and forward thinking! I know I do!
And remember, nobody can make you happy until you're happy within yourself first!