Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Losses & Gains

Good Morning bloggers,

If you follow me on FB, then you know that my mom, after a valiant battle with Cancer, succumbed to post chemo therapy complications. And although it has been difficult accepting her passing, part of me is relieved & knows that her body & soul are resting & CA free. Not only is she no longer physically suffering she  is now in the presence of her beloved son, daughter, sisters, mom & aunties. You'll also know that she lived with me the last leg of her life & I took care of her the best way I could.
My mom always was in my ear about my work ethic, she was proud that I could provide for my family, but worried that I was working myself into an early grave. I have taken heed to her words & will remain per diem @ SBMC, part-time @ HUMC & will be undertaking the Navy Nurse reserves. It might sound like allot, but my schedule will be as follows: 1 shift per week @ SBMC, 2-3 shifts per week @ SBMC, & 1 wkd per month with the Navy Nurse reserve. The addition of the military will allow me to return to grad school & help obtain a decent mortgage for my future home. The other bonus attached to the Navy Nurse reserve, traveling, something I have longed for, for as long as I remember.
Having lost close loved ones has been devastating, but with each lost I have managed to gain certain assets; for example, with my brother's loss I gained perspective, with the loss of my kids' father I gained a monster work ethic, with the loss of my ex-husband I gained a superior level of confidence, I never knew existed in me. Now, with the loss of my mom I have gained an insurmountable amount of courage! This courage has fueled my hunger for my success, & so I mush forward with vigor & integrity.
This last loss also has allowed me to feel & witness all the love that I have planted &  has blossomed into solid, genuine relationships that I can count on. I want to thank my 4LW (HUMC) sisters & brothers for checking on me & offering me their support. I also want to show my gratitude to my work family @ SBMC. Even my family @ Rutgers & CLBC, have shown me love & support & for all these blessings I am grateful & humbled!
As I leave you this morning, I leave you with images of some of the most memorable experiences of my life. And in honor of the promises I made to my mom, I have documented them.
on my wedding day
 she was so proud of me
Leaving the hospital (on one of her many stays)
 on a day of our infamous docs run
 that killer smile, that I am proud to have inherited
 as she requested, spending time with my family
 My GA peaches came through, love them
 my lil cousins, Denise & Carmen
 another day filled of Drs. appts
 just watching TV, before I go to work
 Our last visit to the ER
 The collage my nephew & daughters made for her funeral
 she looked so peaceful
 brotherly love
 Portuguese dinner after the wake, 16 deep!
 in honor of her memory, white balloons were set free as she descended into the earth
 just how she wanted, surrounded by many flowers
 some southern comfort after the funeral ,with my nephews, sons, & my sister & her boyfriend
 as she wished, enjoying my life with people I love, my Honduran sister, Joanna
 & my cousin Robert
 as promised, made peace with my sisters
 and the legacy will continue with your grandchildren
 my lil sis & me on our way to represent our brother @ gay pride
 always outgoing & friendly, until I die
 my children as they say good bye to their abuela, with Justin
Today's quote:

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Solidifying my status

Good Morning fellow bloggers,

It has been a while since I blogged, but, it has been because I have been enjoying my family & living the best life that I can. I have been privileged to go see my oldest son graduate high school & see how he lives. I have to say,  I really did a good job raising him. I am so proud of my son! He has been able to manage his own household, maintain a car & insurance & successfully graduate high school with a 3.9 GPA. I have to repeat I am so proud of my son, Shuan Williams & his girlfriend, Erin Smathers! They have managed to work, maintain a household & successfully graduate high school! Love you guys!
In order for me to go on this trip, I had to make arrangements for someone to care for my mom, she can no longer travel. My Auntie Ana, from GA, came to my rescue & she is still @ my mom's side until I start my lighter schedule. As of 6/17/13, I will be working per diem @ SBMC & wait @ least a month; to spend time with my mom. I have also been spending allot of time with my daughters & my girlfriends & they have given my the much needed confidence in myself.
As I slowly start enjoying my life & solidifying my status, I am starting to realize that I possess all the tools I need to navigate my life successfully. As I change my schedule to accommodate my mom's needs, I feel more comfortable with the decisions I make & being able to care of my mom has been a blessing. I hope my children learn from my deeds & follow in my steps.
I share with you, just some of my recent experiences:
My lil mami, when she received her hearing aid
 My mom when she was better
 Hearing aid fitting
 on our docs run
 on my only night off, I soak up my beloved city
 My beautiful daughters enjoying a day party
 We possess good genes in my family!
 It's me!
 Me, comfortable in my skin!
 Shami & me on our way to NM
 My son, Bebe
 My boys & me:
 Bebe & Erin, had to make them join me in a walk
 So proud of my Bebe
 So proud of my babies!
 My boys
 My son is so handsome
 Bebe is no longer a baby
 Leah & me (SANE in NM)
 Erin & me enjoying quality time
 Tristan & local NM artist & me @ River fest
 Erin, Tristan & her family @ a local Thai Restaurant in FMN
 My god-daughters & my lil cuz, girls day out
 Gym time
 Jessica & her husband Larry
 Welcoming my viejita's old man back home
 Jo & me @ Kinga's bday party @ the W in Hoboken
 My lil Marley, she thinks she's a cat
 The Sis & me @ the liberty game @ the Prudential Ctr
 Ne, Jo & me @ the Portuguese Festival in NWK

So you see, I have solidified my status, I am able to take care of those I love & enjoy my life along the way. I am finally in love with myself & I can only imagine, where I go from here- the sky is limitless!

Quotes: