Good morning beloved,
I know it has been a long ass time! But I promise you I have been busy with my doctorate program, work, & trying to have some sort of a social life. I just completed my first semester as a doctoral student, and have been traveling to Philly frequently for school.
I had met a young gentleman on FBD a little over a year ago & finally got to meet him in person. I felt like we had met in another lifetime, allot of his elements resonated with me. Unfortunately, this feeling was not mutual. Although we had excellent conversation & exchange of energy, I believe this scared him. I tried to be present & consistent for him, but he ghosted me….? I can never understand why men lack the ability to communicate or express themselves.
Any how, my trips to Philly have been very fulfilling minus the previously mentioned situation. I was able to attend my first ever sex ed conference & learned new terminology regarding ethical polyamory, BDSM, kinks, consent, & even sexuality theories in older adults (which I am very close to)! I must say that I am loving my new profession & believe that I will be just fine! I still will be able to support people through there healing journey, it will just be in a different aspect of their lives.
We had to write a 10-15 page paper for one of my classes this semester to discuss our healing journey & why we chose human sexuality as a profession. For me it has always been multi-factorial. As a child I was sexually molested & as a teenager I was raped by a random person, but when I was betrayed by my ex-husband I started doubting myself. These are just some of the reasons I want to become a sex therapist. When I was studying for my masters in SW I became more interested in the dynamics between individuals, this became another reason why I want to become a sex therapist.
As I navigate my love-life as an older adult I am increasingly becoming more aware of my desire to be in a relationship. But not just any relationship, I desire & require an intentional relationship where we both reciprocate intentional energy, loving affection, intense vibes between us. I also require someone who is going to match my sexual energy & have a level of passion similar to mine.
Which is why I chose the title for this entry. My progressive sexual values include, but are not limited to, transparency, authenticity, consistency, intentionality, honesty, vulnerability, & yes kinky fuckery. Which is why I have been single for so long! I can’t seem to find a man who possesses all these qualities! I have always believed that if I exist, so does my equal!I have even contemplated polyamory, but because I am Latina, I refuse to share my person!
I am done with the dating apps & blind dates & I will try to be patient as I work on myself to become the best version of myself, until then I am asking or positive vibes- thank you 🙏🏾 for following & reading!
I leave you with some favorite memories:
